Moments

Today was class, as usual. Not bad, nor good, just normal. Its been raining all day. I love the rain, but not driving in it. Yet, I stopped after class to get some mac and cheese... they have halloweenie kind out right now so i got some... though i forgot the butter. I came home, put it away and sat down... stomach grummbling. I was supposed to be going out to eat with Rob... he was still in bed..awake but in bed. I kinda broached the subject and he said he wasnt in the mood for burgers.. so I took the hint and sat back down. He then came into my room and told me that I needed to start chipping in, he implied that if he knew i was gonna loose my job he would have asked someone else to move in. *sigh* BS. I had told him prior to me moving in, prior to me loosing my job, that I wouldn't be able to help out with anything for awhile due to the fact that i'm supporting my family. He knew this, and I reminded him of it. He got this look on his face. I have a job now... but I have alot of catching up to do and still have to help my family. I am super stressed about this new development. So I made myself a sandwich. As I was eating it, he looked at me funny. I was starving. I said I was hungry. So we left and did his running around. Then he decided to get food, and picked on me for eating. I looked at him. He said he hadn't been in the mood, was complaining about money and then wonders why I wasnt eating out with him. *sigh* So I sat at the bar had a drink while he ate. We were going to see a movie that I have been looking forward to seeing since I knew it was coming out and I'll be damned if he was gonna make me worry about shit when I wanted to see this. So I drank. LOL. We headed to the movie Resident Evil in 3d. the 3d part was okay..not too noteworthy but fun. And I enjoyed the movie. I thanked him. and we went home... or rather stopped at subway (he got food) and then went home. Then I popped on fb to find that my ex, DD is upset and needs an ear. We have been friends for a long time. We dated like 7 years ago or something and he has a little spot in my heart. He tells me I have a big spot in his. So I tell him to call, and I listen about his madness in his life. He gets so much drama, and most of it is undeserved. I feel bad for him, but there is nothing that can be done, so I listen. He always tells me he loves me. While its nice to hear.. i dont hear that often from anyone besides family, its hard to hear it from him. he broke my heart awhile ago, and it did take awhile to get over it. I dont like rehashing the pain. its like lets cut you open again and poke where it hurts. does it hurt? how about there? there? ahh there! He misses me so much, and wants me to come see him and meet his wife and kids. I just dont know... I have a huge issue with this, I wish I didn't, because he is my friend. but some ties run so deep...
Anyways we were talking about memories. I have so many with him. We dont even have that much in common. He just knows what to say, and when. I miss him.. anyways. he would walk me home from whatever we had been doing, and you know how street lights make the circle on the ground lol I would "skate" in them. After skating in every possible light rink i could find we would lay down on the grass and look at the stars, talking about whatever entered our minds. sometimes profound, sometimes just plain silly. He had a hardees hat. I took daisys and put one in each little hole. lol he walked around like that. He made me smile.
This one time, I headed up north with my folks. It was really soon after my breakup with my longtime bf.. I was in distress, and hurting. I called DD, and talked to him for awhile. he got in his car and drove 2 hours to be with me. It was so romantic and amazing. i couldnt believe that after all this time, I still felt safe in his arms, loved in his eyes even though i was much more jaded and broken from when we had dated. The day ended too soon, and he was soon gone. That was the last time I saw him. It was what I needed at that time. So that is one memory that will stay with me for a long long time.