Sep. 16th, 2010

wyntre: (walk alone)
Today I was haunted yet again by a face from my past. As I staired at the screen in class, my vision blurred and there was his face. Clear as the last time I saw him. I wonder thinking back to that day, with his half smile and big hug, if he knew he wouldn't talk to me again. I wonder if he did, and just couldn't bare to say goodbye. I didn't realize how much I would miss him. When he "disapeared" I knew it was because of his new girlfriend. When he stopped talking to me, after she asked him to marry her a sadness creeped in. Then he deleted his fb and defriended me on myspace. Links cut and I'm left empty. I miss his smiling eyes. I wish he was strong enough to tell her that we were friends and that he wouldnt let me go. I wish... I wish he was. But he is not. and today he haunts me. I miss him so. His memory will fade, but never go away. Another one who I guess doesn't need me in his life. I shall go, I know I am not what you need. I hope life is kind, and you get all you dreamed of..

So the next thing on the meme is what I ate today. I eat horribly. When i remember to eat. I love food. I love how the flavor bursts on my toungue, which can cause me to overeat and its funny to think that i forget to eat sometimes. Like today.. I forgot to eat, or drink my breakfast this morning. I didnt eat until after 5ish. I had some dried cranberries YUM YUM. I really couldnt eat in between because i had class and a test. So anyways, I went shopping and picked up some bread and olives. I love olives. I had the cranberries on the way home. When I got home I made myself turkey, tomato, cheese and sprout sandwiches. I had a few of my kalmata olives i bought and some chips with creamcheese. I started watching Dexter, which I'm finding rather entertaining so far. Then my roommate came home with a 6 in tuna sub for me :D So I watch Speedway Junkies and ate that. Now i'm contimplating some ice cream. I really should eat better. I need to pick up some grapes and peaches... maybe some apples lol.

Anyways, I'm still trapped in my sorrow of missing my Chuckley... thats his name, not that you needed to know that.. He was one of my bestfriends...and I think I loved him more than I should have, but I wasn't what he needed. I want to travel and he wants to settle down and have kids... but i really think i was in love with him... maybe thats why he left, too hard to see me.. I miss him so.. As it is with most people I become close to, in the end they go away and I am left here standing wondering what the hell happened, and going on with my shadow to keep me company. i hope my shadow doesnt ever grow bored of me.. lol


wyntre: (Default)

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